Dem Leader suggests highlighting “Wisconsin’s nostalgic feeling”
LA CROSSE, WI – After Gov. Walker and Legislative Republicans approved a $7 million taxpayer-funded ad campaign aimed at luring millennials back to Wisconsin from places like Chicago and Minneapolis, Senate Democratic Leader Jennifer Shilling (D-La Crosse) noticed something was missing.
“The current ads are fine and all, but something about the glossy posters and drink coasters hasn’t seemed to resonate with the target audience,” said Sen. Shilling. “Young people are simply looking for something else and I think we need to reconsider whether this $7 million in taxpayer spending is really hitting the mark.”
Shilling suggested a revamped marketing strategy to tout other aspects of Wisconsin and Gov. Walker’s “Ambition Agenda” that resonate more with young 20-somethings.
“Millennials want to feel at home and we should let them know that Wisconsin still has that sense of nostalgia they remember. Dial-up internet, bumpy roads and outdated classrooms. Thanks to Gov. Walker, we still have it all,” said Shilling. “The drinking water might taste a little different and the air might not smell quite as sweet as you remember, but once you start making over $35 million a year in Wisconsin, you’ll be eligible for a whole bunch of new Republican tax breaks.”
Given that Wisconsin doesn’t allow individuals to save thousands of dollars a year refinancing student loans at lower rates like they can in neighboring Minnesota, there may be other benefits to moving back home.
“Most parents would gladly welcome their kids back home,” added Shilling. “They might have to move a few boxes from the spare bedroom or tidy up the basement futon, but what homesick young entrepreneur would turn down the opportunity for a roof over their head and an extra hand with their laundry. So Gov. Walker won’t let you refinance your student loans and afford that new car or starter house you wanted. At least there’s mom’s cooking. I dare you to find me one person who wouldn’t move back to Wisconsin for an endless supply of homemade tater tot casserole.”
One Wisconsin-based company has already been working on this marketing strategy for the past several years and has enjoyed incredible success. American Skillet Co., located just south of the State Capitol, discovered early on that trendy millennials have an uncanny, nostalgic love of tater tot casseroles and anything shaped like the state of Wisconsin.
“Rather than wasting money on drink coasters and health club ads, we should promise to give anyone who moves back home a quality, hand-crafted, Made in Wisconsin, Badger State-shaped cast iron skillet,” concluded Shilling. “It’s a win-win for Wisconsin businesses as well as the dairy producers and potato growers who will undoubtedly see an uptick in sales as a result.”
Shilling noted the plan would likely cost less than Gov. Walker’s $4.5 billion giveaway to the Taiwan-based electronics manufacturer Foxconn.
Happy April Fools’ Weekend!